Gavomiting
by Teh-AMAZING-One
Summary: Kaiba finally loses a duel to Joey. But why? One-shot. Done for Alphabet Meme request on LiveJournal. Some language and adult themes.


Something about Kaiba seemed off, Yugi noted. His normal bravado and arrogance just weren't there. He seemed distracted. Joey didn't seem to notice.

I'll put this in the face down position shouted Joey. Kaiba blanched, turned off his duel disk, and started to walk away.

No, just no. No said Kaiba. I can't do it.

Everyone looked on perplexed, and Joey shouted after him. Kaiba just kept walking and did not acknowledge him. Tea looked to Mokuba, but he just shrugged.

That's right I guess money-bags finally realized that he's no match or me Joey gloated.

Yugi wasn't that convinced. There was a tug on his arm, and he turned to find Rebecca, looking sheepish. It was an odd look.

Kaiba couldn't duel Joey, could he? she asked. (She had just finished her own duel of thew tournament.)

No, replied Yugi. Do you know why?

I'm pretty sure it's my fault.

What did you do? he asked, surprised. What could have possibly happened to make Kaiba lose the zeal to duel?

"Remember that whole Rickrolling incident?" she asked.

"Yes," he nodding, frowning. It was not one of the proudest moments of Rebecca's, or Kaiba's, life.

"It was something like that. He was being his normal jackass self, and I wanted to send him something kind of sick, just to mess with him, you know? And I went looking around for stuff and I finally found this site dedicated to something called 'Puppyshipping.'"

Do I want to know what that is?" asked Yugi.

"It's RPF— real person fan fiction. There is apparently a group of Duel Monsters fans who pair duelists together, like romantically."

"Uh huh," said Yugi, becoming more perturbed by the minute.

"Anyway there were these fics that were about Kaiba with Joey."  
"You mean, like in a duel together?"

"I mean _with _Joey," she whispered.

"No wonder. Why did you send him that? Why did he read it?"

"I thought it was funny at the time I didn't realize it would scar him like it did. I would insert lines of it into regular email stuff. I may have sent him some fan art, too."

"You need to apologize to him."

"What?" asked Rebecca. "You can't be serious. He probably won't even look at me now. How am I supposed to talk to him?"

"He may have done some not-so-nice things in the past, Rebecca, and he may have problems with proper manners, but does not mean you can behave in such a way and get away with it. When you do wrong by a person, you need to try to make it right. Regardless of who they may be."

Yugi crossed his arms over his chest. Rebecca knew that this time she would not argue with him.

"Ok, fine," said Rebecca. "Just don't tell anyone I'm doing this. I'll never live it down."

* * *

_The price of oil is rocketing out of control, but is government intervention the best way to handle it? The last time the government took control of the oil supply was in the late 1970s. People had to wait in line for hours to get a tank of gas. Kaiba licked at the side of Joey's neck, causing him to wantonly moan. Kaiba's puppy was begging, but he would have to be more patient. Kaiba grabbed the scruff of Joey's neck and admonished him for his haste. _

"Why," asked Kaiba. "Can't I get this the fuck out of my head?"

He held his head in his hands. He had just lost his second duel, to Joey fucking Wheeler of all people, and it was all due to some sick person's twisted perversion. The artwork was worse. It was one thing to read about yourself, because then you could at least trick yourself that it was some other Seto Kaiba. But when you saw graphic detailed pictures of your likeness suggestively leaning over someone who looked like him in various states of undress... It's not a good mental image.

His intercom buzzed.

"Mr. Kaiba," came the feminine voice of his assistant. "A Miss Rebecca Hawkins would like to see you."

Naturally she would come to complete the Trifecta from hell. He sighed. It's not like it could get any worse.  
"Let her in."

He lifted his head, straightened his suit jacket, and fixed his best, most soul-crushing glare he could muster onto her.

She looked nervous, which was rare for her. Good.

"Look, this is very hard for me. I'm not used to doing this."

"Doing what, exactly?" He was not going to go easy on her.

She was silent for a little bit, but her face was skewed, as if trying to force the words out.

She eventually answered, "Apologizing."

"And what are you apologizing for?" he asked. She glared at him, but was unable to protest.

"For sending you what I did."

"And what did you send me?"

"Oh Christ, Kaiba."

"What did you send me?" he asked again, but with more force.

"Disgusting, libelous accounts about you and Joey that are in no way accurate and assassinate both you and Joey's characters, not that Joey has any. Happy?"

"Not even close."

"Oh come on It could have been worse I could have sent you the stuff where you bottomed "

Kaiba pinched his brow. "Leave. Now."

* * *

Rebecca got home a couple hours later, still angry, but not as furious about Kaiba's lack of appreciation for her apology as before. She slumped into her computer chair and turned on her desktop. She was planning about vlogging about the day's duels, and maybe Twittering about where tomorrow's duels would be.

What she did not plan on was her computer to do things without her provocation. Namely, opening up her email, highlighting the newest ones, opening them all in different windows, and rotating them all slide show style.

The windows in question were all pictures, though one was a wall in text, where she was the main focus. One featured her and the Dark Magician girl doing something wholly unrelated to dueling (though she supposed if it were, the game would garner even more attention). Another one was of her and Luster Dragon engaging in what must be illegal activity. She really did not have the heart to look at more.

Her webcam flashed to life, and Rebecca realized it must have taken a single frame of her horrified face.

Another window opened up on her computer screen, its blazing, blinking text only said, "NOW I AM HAPPY."


End file.
